The Gift of Singleness

I had a wonderful weekend filled with good friends, cookouts, board games, necklace-making, and fun.  As I looked around, I experienced another moment where I thanked God for my singleness.  I’m sure that many wives and mothers have these moments.  You know- where you stop what you are doing and thank God for your wonderful life, that moment where you realize you wouldn’t have it any other way.  I have a lot of these.  The times where I in the spur of a moment take off for a road trip to who knows where, or take an extra long walk on a sunny day, or when I let my wet dog jump in my car…feel dread… then realize ”I’m the only person that could get mad & I’m not“, upon the realization that I can take a cruise with friends at Christmas or a trip to Ireland for the New Year, when my money and time is all mine (all God’s), when I don’t want to shave or get out of bed.

I have been given the gift of freedom by God.  The freedom to enjoy this gift and love God with complete devotion.  Although I do not feel it is at all biblical to demand singleness, I do feel that this is a gift that is given to some.  Just as Paul said…

7Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

It is a simpler life.  It is also a life that allows you time to invest in relationships.  There is time to disciple new believers, to invest in friendships, and to serve your church family,  community, poor, etc.  Not to mention, all of the time that is free to invest in the most important relationship–your relationship with Christ!  I have the opportunity to pray for hours every day if I choose, then study or read for even longer after this.  I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize what a precious gift this is!

Of course there are some drawbacks to this gift. There’s the obvious- lack of romance, abstinence, blah. The more aggravating drawback is more subtle.  In both the world and the church, singles are looked at as something to be pitied.  You would think that the church could be the shelter where you could run, but it’s not.  Actually, I’ve found that singleness is less accepted in the church.  Even though marriage and singleness are equal gifts from God, many churchgoers view singleness as a disadvantage.  Times spent with church family are filled with comments like,  “I’ll hook you up with so-and-so” or “I’m praying for you a husband/wife”, etc.  So funny.  I want to say ‘STOP, don’t do that! I love my life.”  (But I don’t)

Friendships with men in the church are always precarious.  Oh! Especially if the men are married. You have weird fears from time to time at the back of your mind that wives are viewing you as some desperate piranha. “Stay away from my husband, single hussy!”  Lol.  Most likely never true (that you would want their husband/ they would be suspicious of it) , but you have to deal with this fear that you will do something to make them feel this way, nonetheless. It’s kind of ironic, but friendships with guys in general are great!  And they are friendships that a husband probably wouldn’t want me to have.

Security becomes a complete reliance on God as my provider and husband. Though, I really shouldn’t put this under drawbacks.  It is difficult though to accept and utterly rely on Jesus Christ as your husband.  When you are wanting to buy a house or start a career, you have to trust your husband, Christ Jesus.  It can be very challenging. I’m sure that married couples must do this also, but it adds an edge of difficulty to be partner-less.
In the eternal kingdom of God, we will all be singles. (Matt. 22:30).  But we should take great joy if God has chosen us to enjoy this gift NOW!  Use all of your time here on earth as a single to your advantage, and seek Him with all of you heart.  If you ever feel discouraged by people that are not kingdom-minded, go to God’s word.  You will find all the encouragement you need there.

Great bible verses to read:

1 Cor 7:32-45 ( Actually all of 1Cor 7 is great!)

Matt 19:12,

Matthew 22:29-30

Hosea 2:19-20

Another really great article on this —- > Click HERE

More theology-like, this article is really good too —> Click HERE

8 comments

  1. Seems you forgot, that every coin has two sides, Lauren. One day you may realize that you are alone, and no one is around and no one cares about you. Then, the gift will become a curse.

    But as usual, everything is a cure and a poison, only dose makes the difference.

    1. Thanks Misha for reading my blog! You are right. There are definitely two sides. That is the reason that I also consider marriage a gift. And if God sends me a man to be my husband one day, then I will gladly accept :). At the same time, singleness is a gift also. I do not ever fear being alone. Nor do I fear ‘no one loving me’. I have the love of God that far exceeds the love of any man! His presence never leaves me.

      I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5

  2. I love this, Lauren!!! Absolutely wonderful. As Miss Martha would say, “You gettin it!”

    I am so excited for all our Adonai is doing in your life. What a sweet Lord He is! Hey, even our Savior was single!!! WOW!

  3. First time to your blog! Wonderfulpost — I am married but I believe when God is the center of our lives then we find contentment in whatever state we are in. But just not contentment but joy. And ultimatley married or not our marriage to God comes first and underscores everything else.

    Rachel

    1. Thanks so much for visiting and your kind comments! I have added your blog to my blogroll. Feel free to do the same. 🙂 God bless, sister!

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