Sister, Before You Hit Unfriend
Can I just have a little soapbox moment? I just want to bend your ear before you hit unfriend on that Facebook account of your Christian connection.
The friend that removed me is no longer a “friend” so she probably won’t read this, but I just wanted to put it out there for others considering unfriending a sister in Christ on Facebook or in life.
1. Communicate. Give Her a Chance.
If you are going to unfriend another sister, could you at least extend the grace of sending her a message about what the offense was?! Cutting someone out of your life without even trying to give the person a chance to clear misunderstanding or recognize where she was wrong doesn’t seem Christlike or fair, does it? In fact it communicates that this person is worthless not worth the moment or effort it would take you to talk to them about it.
How will believers grow in depth of relationship and maturity if they don’t try to understand each other and make recompense.
2. Love Covers. Is Not Easily Offended.
Would you try to cover their mistake with love or mercy…you know like…oh THE BIBLE says to. Here’s a chance for you to grow in maturity. Work your love muscle and become unoffendable. Even without an apology we are called to love even our enemies.
So if someone has hurt you, shouldn’t you love them even more and extend the same grace that God extends to you time and again.
3. Thou Shalt Not Murder.
Would you think long and hard about de-friending or unfriending the person since its pretty much the opposite of unity and love (what Jesus wants from us) and is likely very close to the spirit of MURDER since you are basically saying they are “dead to you”? When you unfriend, you are communicating rejection, worthlessness, hate. These are tools of the enemy.
The world will know us by our love. Not exactly shining the light and love of Jesus and his church/family when you do this. It hurts when Facebook acquaintances do this or even worldly friends, but when godly Christian sisters do this it is even more hurtful.
Maybe you feel it’s what God wants you to do. Weird. Because that seems unbiblical and more like pride, but I dunno…maybe? Then at least tell the person: “I need to remove our connection on Facebook. You hurt me and I need boundaries, but I still love you.” This communicates they are valuable and removes the permission that you give the enemy to torment with the spirit of rejection.
Facebook Isn’t The Real World.
Its not that big a deal. You’re overreacting. It’s just Facebook. Probably true. But this doesn’t Stop there. Usually when you are “cutting someone out of Facebook” you are doing it in other ways too. It’s just not right. It’s not the way God called us to be. We are the family of God. We have to think about our actions and whether they glorify God and edify his body.
That sister you are hurting is God’s daughter. It’s Christ body you are injuring. And he takes that seriously. So before you hit unfriend, please think about it, pray about it.