Okay. Gotta make this fast. I moved to West Texas about a month ago. God was faithful to provide a job, and it is great. I feel like I’m getting the whole experience–workin with a bunch of cowboys. (It’s a receptionist position at a Drill/Oil company.) I’ve really been struggling just the past few days to balance all of my time and priorities.
What’s strange is that everytime prayer and time with God starts to take a back-burner, I begin to feel like I am coming unravelled. I become very emotional, insecure, etc. Today is one of those days. I need to keep in mind that this is a job. My vocation is an intercessor, one who speaks to and hears from God.
I’ve made a couple of great friends. And I am a part of a couple different church groups here in Abilene–Beltway and Kingdom Life (in Clyde). Between friends, family, fitness, and fellowship, my schedule is about as full as it can be. Last friday, I ended up going to see a movie by myself just because I needed some alone time. (BTW — Lincoln Lawyer was a great movie.)
There are a couple of issues that have been the recurring over and over in my prayer times. It is difficult for me to speak to God about much else because the unfulfilled longing is so strong. Not exactly what to do about that but just keep praying about it and keep looking to scripture for comfort and answers. Today, I’ve been meditating on Psalm 119:1-88. Sometimes, I just don’t know what to pray. It hurts too much to say the same things over and over. In my heart, I know I am accusing Him of being unfaithful. And that hurts me too.
Anyway, if you’re reading this, please pray for breakthrough or at least God to give me more strength in the waiting.
81 My soul faints with longing for your salvation,
but I have put my hope in your word.
82 My eyes fail, looking for your promise;
I say, “When will you comfort me?”
83 Though I am like a wineskin in the smoke,
I do not forget your decrees.
84 How long must your servant wait?