Well, on November 3rd, I eloped and became a married woman. Wait. Let me back up.
I come from a broken family and like most have felt the sting of betrayal. For this reason, it’s been very difficult to commit to anyone even the man that seems so perfect for me in so many ways. But he pursued me with determination from the very beginning, and he demonstrated that “love never gives up”. ( 1 Cor 13:8). God talked to me about him and said that he would teach me about love as defined by 1 Cor 13. Over and over, he has. I’ve never been shown such patience, longsuffering, kindness, trust, hope, faith, protection.
On the night we prayed about eloping 3 weeks ago, God opened a door for a job in OKC. As I was driving back home, a recruiter called me at 7pm (on a Sunday night). She had matched me to a job through my online resume. I cannot begin to tell you how perfect this job fits my skills & wants. It seemed to be a very clear confirmation from God also. My job now feels more like family and I wanted to make sure they had ample time to find a good fit to fill my position (especially around the holidays). Suddenly the recruiter called and said that the new job had been pushed to begin until January 1st.
Fast forward, we were to be married after my job interview and on his lunch break (1030 am – 2pm) at the courthouse by a JP. At the courthouse, Thursday morning we found out that Oklahoma no longer has justice of the peace. I said a prayer quietly, “God, if this is you saying the timing isn’t right. Then, that’s fine. Shut every door and keep us on the path you want us on.” Within 15 minutes, we were driving to meet a pastor from my husband’s childhood church willing to meet with us and perform the ceremony. About 45 minutes later we were surrounded by family praying for us, the newly married couple. It was a ceremony filled with prayer, centered on Christ, with a foundation of scripture (very much of it focused on 1 Cor 13). Perfect for me-special. And perfect for him-fast. LOL.
I feel like I am the passenger of my own life. I’ve never felt such strong leading of my life by God. It’s definitely instilled a trust that I am walking according to His will. This is such a comfort to me for if God is on our side, who or what can come against us.
We entered in knowing that it wouldn’t be easy at the beginning. We have to live 4 hours apart for a couple months. The majority of women in my life are in marriages where the husbands are away for days, weeks, or even months at a time. So, at least I don’t feel alone. The difficulty of dating apart, being engaged apart seems to somehow be immediately magnified. There is nothing I want than for him to be close. My daily work and life activities become more frustrating. And the real stresses of life seem unbearable. I’m finding that I have to lean in to the strength and comfort that only Christ can give.
This seems to be testing whether God is really all that I want and all that I need. If I am truly fully satisfied, my needs fully met by God, then what complaints or lack could I feel? My life is not my own. It is to glorify God. God is most glorified when I am completely satisfied in Him. And now my satisfaction affects another person. If I’m looking to him to meet my needs emotionally, spiritually, etc then it will hurt our relationship. So, it’s very important in this season that I learn to be satisfied completely by God and God alone.
I listened to this song over and over on my lunch run. So good…