Miss becomes Mrs.

 Being Fully Led & Fully Satisfied by God

Well, on November 3rd, I eloped and became a married woman. Wait. Let me back up.

 I come from a broken family and like most have felt the sting of betrayal. For this reason, it’s been very difficult to commit to anyone even the man that seems so perfect for me in so many ways.  But he pursued me with determination from the very beginning, and he demonstrated that “love never gives up”. ( 1 Cor 13:8).  God talked to me about him and said that he would teach me about love as defined by 1 Cor 13.  Over and over, he has.  I’ve never been shown such patience, longsuffering, kindness, trust, hope, faith, protection.

On the night we prayed about eloping 3 weeks ago, God opened a door for a job in OKC.  As I was driving back home, a recruiter called me at 7pm (on a Sunday night).  She had matched me to a job through my online resume.  I cannot begin to tell you how perfect this job fits my skills & wants.  It seemed to be a very clear confirmation from God also.  My job now feels more like family and I wanted to make sure they had ample time to find a good fit to fill my position (especially around the holidays).  Suddenly the recruiter called and said that the new job had been pushed to begin until January 1st.

Fast forward, we were to be married after my job interview and on his lunch break (1030 am – 2pm) at the courthouse by a JP. At the courthouse, Thursday morning we found out that Oklahoma no longer has justice of the peace.  I said a prayer quietly, “God, if this is you saying the timing isn’t right.  Then, that’s fine. Shut every door and keep us on the path you want us on.”  Within 15 minutes, we were driving to meet a pastor from my husband’s childhood church willing to meet with us and perform the ceremony. About 45 minutes later we were surrounded by family praying for us, the newly married couple.  It was a ceremony filled with prayer, centered on Christ, with a foundation of scripture (very much of it focused on 1 Cor 13).  Perfect for me-special.  And perfect for him-fast. LOL.

I feel like I am the passenger of my own life. I’ve never felt such strong leading of my life by God. It’s definitely instilled a trust that I am walking according to His will. This is such a comfort to me for if God is on our side, who or what can come against us.

We entered in knowing that it wouldn’t be easy at the beginning.  We have to live 4 hours apart for a couple months. The majority of women in my life are in marriages where the husbands are away for days, weeks, or even months at a time.  So, at least I don’t feel alone. The difficulty of dating apart, being engaged apart seems to somehow be immediately magnified.  There is nothing I want than for him to be close.  My daily work and life activities become more frustrating.  And the real stresses of life seem unbearable.   I’m finding that I have to lean in to the strength and comfort that only Christ can give.

This seems to be testing whether God is really all that I want and all that I need.    If I am truly fully satisfied, my needs fully met by God, then what complaints or lack could I feel?  My life is not my own.  It is to glorify God. God is most glorified when I am completely satisfied in Him. And now my satisfaction affects another person.  If I’m looking to him to meet my needs emotionally, spiritually, etc  then it will hurt our relationship. So, it’s very important in this season that I learn to be satisfied completely by God and God alone.

  I listened to this song over and over on my lunch run. So good…

Could you tell me… How could it be… any better than this…cuz you’re all I want… all I need?

-Lifehouse

2 comments

  1. I remember my first year of marriage when I lived down in Murray & only got to come home and see Josh on the weekends. It was so hard!! Now, I look back at that phase of our marriage fondly & see God’s mercy in taking us one step at a time, however weird it seemed. Now, our current season of marriage is defined by our decision for me to quit my long worked for career ( oh brother, after all that! ) in order to help Josh with his business from home. Without the distraction of busy-ness, without the professional & social validation I had at work, without kids to keep my days full, I am totally dependent upon Jesus. Like you said, I can’t live with the expectation for my husband to fulfill me in every way. If I expected that, I would be a weight on him rather than a help to him. The Lord, because He loves me, keeps bringing me to Him, always to Him, through Him, from Him & for Him. I am excited for where you’re at!!

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