While reading Sofia the story of Zacchaeus in her Baby Bible, I felt drawn to meditate on these chapters myself…
Zacchaeus. Wealthy. Should have been happy and yet, I am utterly dissatisfied. Chief tax collector. Promoted & successful. I should have been happy…
Heard about this man–passing through today. Said he holds the words of life. Said he could open blind eyes. Could he open my hard heart?
I had to see…
So I ran. I ran ahead. Short man that I am, but I ran as fast as I could. So I hiked my skirt up and I ran, most undignified. (Chief as I am.)
And I climbed. Scratched arms. Bruised legs. I climbed. I had to see him. I climbed. Higher still. I waited. He was coming this way.
He came to where I was. He stopped.
And he looked…up.
God! He looked up! Everyone looks down at me–tax collector, thief, dishonorable, filthy… sinner. Everyone looks down at me. But he looked up.
And he…saw… me.
He really saw me. All that I was. All my fears and insecurity. All my dissatisfaction and hunger. All my remorse and resentment. His eyes burned through me. He saw me. I was bare before him. His eyes burned through to my soul. Time stood still in that tree. He saw me. I couldn’t look away, even in my shame.
He opened his mouth to speak. Oh! What would he say? Whatever it is–I deserve it.
And he said, “Zacchaeus”
“Come quickly to me!”
“I must be with you!”
You see me. But you want me? You see me. And you want me still.
“Come quickly! I must be with you.”
I see you. I see all of you. And I want you–so.
How you wreck me with your love, Jesus!