“You have a job. What you need is income.” A wise woman said this to me several days ago. Since that day, it resonated in my thoughts. I took it to prayer. *
“I am loved by God and a lover of God; therefore, I’m successful” was one of our mantras at the school of prayer. I had spouted it off and felt that I believed it deep within. But it was so much easier when that was the belief system of all of my peers.
Now, here am I, out in a world where people have real jobs, real careers, real responsibilities. And now God reveals to me that my main vocation all my days is an intercessor. Great, Jesus! That’s just great. Do You realize that to 99% of the world this is NOT A REAL JOB? Well, this is the full time job of my saviour and creator. He forever lives to make intercession. He has given me the honor of having the vocation of my Father as He had. He promises to meet all my needs. Great. Hmmm… So, why does it feel so crappy?
Because, God, to everyone around me I am an unsuccessful, unemployed, unmarried Jesus freak. I understand David’s plight in Psalm 69 when he said he had become a reproach and an alien even to his brothers and sisters. Well, if it was good enough for King David, then it’s good enough for me.
Zeal for your house has consumed me and the reproaches of those that reproach You have fallen upon me. -Psalm 69:9
For such a time as this God is raising of Levites. A group of individuals with the main occupation of ministering to the Lord. Insight will be given to this group of men and women into the heart and plans of God. It’s a group of John the Baptist that will prepare the way for the hour of His coming that draws nearer and nearer. Now he is pulling them out of their full-time vocations and recruiting them into a holy work force.
That all sounds epic and even romantic, but what it looks like in reality: Constant questions from people that don’t understand “What are you doing with your life?” Reproach from those that you love dearest–those that you want to be proud of you. Constant internal struggle to trust God for all your needs. Meekness and humility as you depend on those men & women of God that He uses to meet all your financial needs.
A life of dependence. A life of tears in the prayer closet with swollen, spotted eyes. A broken heart day after day as you feel the overwhelming pain of His heart and the rejection of the world. Hunger as He draws you into fast after fast. Loneliness.
But amidst all of this…pure joy and elation…every single time you are with Him. Amidst this, wonder. Fascination. Excitement. To a degree that this earth has never and will never offer.
*Now, to be clear I am not saying that you must be jobless in this calling. But I MUST keep in perspective that my vocation is an intercessor and minister to God. Anything else is merely income. When He opens the door, I will walk in it.