Death and Birthdays
We live across from a graveyard. Today, as I was walking down our driveway pulling Sofia behind in her wagon, I overheard “Taps” being played at a funeral. Such a haunting melody. It stirs in your heart. I felt the poetry of the moment. New life in my belly. A toddler just beginning. A funeral…And it’s my birthday tomorrow.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.No wonder I am always praising you! Psalms71:6
With each year passing so quickly and watching how fast my daughter and nieces are growing, the brevity of life is more apparent. But this is a comfort to me. Even walking through the graveyard (which I often do) is comforting. This is just a short internship on this earth and then the real life begins. With each birthday, I’m closer to the real celebration day. One day closer to Him. One day closer to really being with him.
Oh… I’m with him now too. This I know. The times surrounding my birthday seem to often lead to reflection. I’ve had such sweet moments with God. Some of them were my darkest moments, but in those moments Christ love shines so brightly. I can see how He has cared for me and watched over me all the days of my life. One meaning of my name, Lauren, is “guarded of God”. Truly, He has protected me and blessed me with His undeserved love. Completely undeserved. I am one who has been forgiven much and therefore loves much.
Many of my friends can look at my life from the outside and see the radical change that has taken place because of God’s love and guidance. He has transformed me and displayed my life as a trophy of His grace and mercy.
My life is an example to many,because you have been my strength and protection. Psalms71:7
The other night, I was telling my husband, Paul, an observation about pregnancy and life. At the end of pregnancy, you are so uncomfortable that you are completely ready to move on to D-day (delivery). Even though it is painful and scary, you can’t take one more day of that misery. I feel like life sort of ends the same way. Even if you aren’t sick, your body has begun to break down. Maybe it’s the same as the end of pregnancy, where you are ready to face D-day (death), to move on to the next season.
And now, in my old age, don’t set me aside.Don’t abandon me when my strength is failingPsalms71:9
Another birthday, another year, another milestone, another season of life. And one thing remains the same. God is still with me. Every moment. He was with me in the womb and He’ll be with me in the final moments. And beyond. So thankful.
Now that I am old and gray,do not abandon me, O God.Let me proclaim your power to this new generation,your mighty miracles to all who come after me. Psalms71:18