Author Archives: runholy

Tearing Down Monuments

Tearing Down Monuments

This is a very interesting topic for me. Not because these recent events are  particularly interesting but the motives  and rationale are intriguing. I see both sides of the argument and am pulled to both sides.

These racial issues are like that aren’t they? As they should be. In Christ, we are all one race and genetically all just different shades of brown. So of course, we would all feel “torn”.

But aside from that, it’s also intriguing because of my past.

Embracing Dark Times

You see I spent a year in jail. It was a terrible time. The year or so before that was pretty awful too.  I was enslaved to sin and distractive habits and then caged in a county jail. It was a terrible season. But it was a stepping stone to the life I love now. A life filled with redheaded treasures.

I don’t think I would’ve been here where I am now without that season of my life. I wouldn’t want to erase that whole season of my life. I wouldn’t want to pretend that it didn’t happen.

And just the opposite some of my sweetest  Times with the Lord I remembering  how he loved and cared for me through those dark times.  It causes deep worship to arise.  So I embrace the darkness times. I don’t despise them.

There was a time that humanity was a slave to sin.  We were under the law.  But even god did not erase the old testament. As he could have.  We embrace the old testament because it points to the New Testament.

The Other Side…

Now from an American history standpoint, I’m ignorant. I have little idea the significance of these men with monuments erected in their name. So it seems s probably a lot more complex than I’m making it, but…

I had a journal from that dark time. It contained a lot of terrible dark poetry, song lyrics… suicidal demonic stuff. I threw it away. I didn’t need that around. I didn’t need that reminder.

If a monument brings shame and bondage, it is loving and kind to remove it.

There were times that God commanded in the old testament that his people and kings tear down erected monuments. Now these were usually monuments erected toward demonic Gods and used for worship or sacrifices.

Again, probably more complicated than I’m making it, but just saying “tearing down monuments” has a biblical basis as well.

 

So what do you think?  Are these monuments something that is a reminder that causes pain?  Or a dark season that we have triumphed over that we should embrace ?

Running in a Windy Climate

Alley - Solution to Running in Windy Climate

Running in a Windy Climate

I live in Oklahoma now which is notoriously known for it’s extreme wind.  It’s frustrating being a runner.  There’s nothing like a 40 mph wind to suck the joy right out of running.  During the summer, the days that it’s not too hot, it’s too windy to run.  It seems crazy, but I think I’ve just now discovered a solution to my running in a windy climate problem: alleys.

I discovered this while visiting my previous home town in West Texas.  There is some pretty strong winds there although they don’t blow that hard or hit you from all directions.  It’s such a flat place that the wind usually just hits you very hard from one side.  When I went for runs there, I usually just tried to run perpendicular to the direction of the wind so it wasn’t ever blowing directly in my face.

Anyway, while I was visiting I found that most of the streets had an alley that ran behind the homes on each street. These alleys had the wind blocked on two sides which made the winds not an issue. Alley - Solution to Running in Windy ClimateWhen I got back home to Oklahoma I realized that just a few blocks away was a neighborhood that had these same alleys. So I tried to run down these for my run and sure enough I was able to enjoy a 3 mile run for a couple different days when the winds were around 15-20 mph.

Benefits to Alley-Running

  • Easy on joints. Most of the alley was soft material like gravel, dirt, or grass.  This was soft on my joints.  Also, it seemed like they were smooth, maintained and kept mowed. Perfect running paths.
  • Away from traffic. These paths are safer than running on the roads.
  • Wind blocked. And of course, the wind was blocked on both sides (usually) by houses, fences, garages, etc.

Drawbacks to Alley Running

  • Dogs.  People keep their dogs in the backyard which meant a few times a dog scared the crap out of me.  Also, once or twice a dog was loose.
  • Back and forth.  Each alley was around 3/4 mile in the neighborhood I ran in. So I had to run down one then up another.  Didn’t bother me, but some might not like that.
  • Stroller unfriendly? Not sure yet since I haven’t tried it, but it may not be easy to run down these alleys with a jogging stroller.

Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy | My Miscarriage Story | RunHoly

Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy

miscarriage and contradiction prophecy runholyI wanted to tell you about my Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy, a prophetic word that seemed to bring hope only to crush it. But in the midst of what I have and continue to go through that prophetic word that God gave me is a great thing to cling to even though my circumstances declare the opposite.  Mostly I cling to His love and sovereignty throughout this.

Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy: My Miscarriage Experience

I recently miscarried.  I was 13 weeks.  The moment I found out was one of the most painful of my life. Staring at the huge monitor at the image of the ultrasound, searching desparately for anything that looked like a baby but only seeing a white blob of a fetus that stopped developing at 7 weeks. Hearing the words “I’m so sorry.” I was crushed.

The next week was difficult, the D & C, the physical pain of miscarrying (which is like a slow labor drawn out over many days)… I ordered myself a necklace that said “And If Not, He is Still Good.”  A sort of memorial and reminder. I trusted in God’s plan, in His love and His wisdom more than my circumstances and my emotions. This was an amazing step in my walk with the Lord.   That Sunday driving to church I was flooded with incomprehensible joy.  I knew that there would be a greater reward for this suffering.  I thought maybe I could ask the Lord now for another pregnancy to be twin boys???

At church during worship, I was able to sing loudly that He was good.  I worshipped Him sincerely with all my heart.  It was an amazing feeling and a great honor to praise God when my circumstances said I should doubt His goodness.  It was possibly the greatest feeling of my life.

Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy: The Prophetic Word Begins

During a phone call with a Christian friend that week I got a word that “my heart had expanded and it couldn’t/wouldn’t go back”.  My friend had told me she had prayed before asking God to give her what to say to me.  During church that Sunday, my friend told me something similar “your heart has been enlarged and it won’t go back.”  She said, “I see it along with the scripture “enlarge your tent”.  Little did she know, that God had been highlighting this scripture from Isaiah 54 over and over.

“Enlarge the place of your tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of your habitations; do not spare: lengthen your cords, and strengthen your stakes.
Is 54:2 

I had thought that God was talking about the house we were planning on building. We are home builders.  We had just started the process of building our third house which we planned on being our “forever home”.  We are squeezed into a 3 bedroom apartment right now.  As we started planning building our next house,  suddenly things shifted, and before we knew it we were planning on building a MUCH bigger house on a MUCH bigger lot.  It felt like we were caught up in a sovereign whirlwind to both my husband and me. So, we just went with it.

It could be that this was all that God was speaking to me about with this verse, but why now were people giving me this verse pertaining to my miscarriage and my heart?

Strange.

Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy: The Word Continues

To make things more strange, the next Sunday …Mother’s Day…after the sermon the pastor said, “I feel like I got a word to pray for miscarriages and healing.”  A few of my friends at church gathered around me and one of them began to speak Isaiah 54:2 over me during the prayer. Enlarge the place of your tent…make room…lengthen your cords… Why was I getting this word over & over? I had great hope that I would be pregnant again soon and that maybe God would fill my womb with twins or something.

God was giving me great hope to prepare me for a moment of crushing again.

Later that week I found out that I would not be pregnant again soon.  I couldn’t.  My miscarriage had been because of a molar pregnancy.  My D & C revealed that the material that was removed was cancerous.  I would have to be tested weekly and then monthly having my HCG levels monitored to ensure that no cancer remained.  Pregnancy would not be safe again for 6 months to a year.  A year was recommended to be safe.

I felt crushed all over again.  And that this miscarriage process would NEVER be over.

Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy: Prophecy and the Law of Contradiction

 

I forgot.  The few times that I have experienced strong prophetic words in my life, they had almost always been followed by some severe blow that seemed to completely contradict that word.  Anyone else experience this?  I think Graham Cooke has spoken on this before.  He called it the Law of Contradiction. It happens often times that you get a prophetic word, and then BAM! the exact opposite happens.

Now my HCG numbers are going down.  Praise God.  They will probably be to zero this week.  I am going through the confusing process of trying to prevent pregnancy when my strongest desire is to be pregnant again.  This after only just 5 months ago my strongest desire was to never be pregnant again.

I was DONE.

Now I’m NOT.

But I can’t.

Miscarriage and Contradiction Prophecy: All He’s Ever Wanted

I feel like I’ve been stretched, flipped inside out, and raked over coals.  God has me in this place of “whatever”.  If I never have a babe again,  Okay. If I have twins, Okay.  Like the song goes “If all I have is You, I’m okay, I’m Okay.  If all I have is You, I’m just fine.”

“If all I have is You, I’m okay, I’m Okay.  If all I have is You, I’m just fine.” -Rita Springer

All the songs that were on my Labor playlist are now on my Miscarriage playlist and strangely they all fit much better on that list.  Like this one…

Again God brings me back to the simple truth, that all He wants is relationship: for me to love Him and feel His love for me. Every experience, every hope and dream, every trial and triumph is to grow me deeper in this relationship, this love. That’s the whole point of everything that has happened and will happen in my life.

 

 

Mercy Paths (Psalm 25 Meditation)

Mercy Paths (Psalm 25 Meditation)

 

 

Mercy Paths Runholy Podcast Scripture Meditation Psalm 25

 

I recorded a scripture meditation from a special psalm where I discovered GOD’s Mercy Paths. Psalm 25 is a great psalm when you’re looking for life direction or wisdom on specific life choices. It talks about “bringing our life to God”. It says that God “teaches the humble His way”. It’s humility that drives our eyes upward during important times of transition. Only the humble seek God’s counsel on direction. The prideful think they’ve got it all figured out. The humble seek God’s advice as a vital necessity. I’ve come to this humble realization through a bunch of prideful life choices which took me through some hard knocks.

He leads the humble in what is right, and the humble HE teaches His way. -ps25:9

When I was searching for answers on my future husband and God’s will for my life, Psalm 25 became a very special place for me. I remember those times of seeking on the back desert plains of west Texas. I remember the freedom I found within the walls of this psalm.

There was so much fear surrounding making the “right choice”. As I had learned before, God’s will is not a tightrope but a playground. Yes there is a fence and boundaries but there is fun and freedom. If we feel we are walking a tight rope when making choices, that is not freedom. That’s not what He means by the narrow way. I believe the narrow way is actually found in the small daily choices of obedience and devotion. These actually matter more to God than the “big choices”. I found freedom in psalm 25.

In verse 10, He says “all the paths are mercy”. Within our humanity and unique personality we will journey and digress down complex paths. He works all these paths together for our good and for the future that we have hoped for. When we look to Him and wait in hope for His direction, we will never be put to shame. Mercy will cover every choice we make. Down every path we will find mercy. His goodness will follow us Dow EVERY path we choose. We don’t have to be afraid about choosing a wrong path because all the paths we walk down seeking him along the way are mercy.

Show me your ways, oh Lord; teach me your paths. Ps25:4

He will instruct “sinners” in His way it says in verse 8. Isn’t this an interesting verse? Especially since it follows verse 7 which talks about Him remembering no more our sins. The theology of that is very complex but also simple. I think the gist of it is this: God is good. In his mercy, he teaches even those that have sinned against him.

Psalm 25 was a sweet chapter of encounter for a season of my life. Do you have those sweet spots in every Bible?  I included two versions in this meditation because they were both so rich.

Mercy Paths (Psalm 25 Meditation) – RunHoly Podcast on Sound Cloud

Mercy Paths Psalm 25 RunHoly Podcast on PodBean 

A Rant: Stop Speaking Between Worship Songs

speaking between worship songs

A Rant: Speaking Between Worship Songs

speaking between worship songs

Speaking between worship songs.  Speaking between EVERY worship song especially. This rant I have kept bottled up for a while.  I’m not going to post it anywhere else because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or cause any issues.  But since only readers of my blog see this and because I’d like to hear feedback, I decided to leave my rant here.

The church we attend is a non-denominational church with biblical preaching and modern worship.  I enjoy the few people there that I’ve gotten to know. It’s not my usual church in the genre of IHOP-KC or Bethel in that it lacks the freedom and vulnerability that I feel comes from being more spirit-led.  But it is a compromise for my husband and I. The worship leaders voice is like an angel, and she truly seems like a sweet person. The pastor’s sermons are well-organized and delivered with skill.  He is charismatic and sincere.

Three Song Maximum Worship

The last year or so though, something has been really getting to me.  I enjoy corporate worship. There’s a power that comes when His people gather and worship as one. At IHOP-KC worship might be an hour long as you might expect from a 24-7 prayer room church.  When I left that church, I had to get used to the fact that worship would be a 3-song maximum.  It was hardly enough time for my mind to engage with heaven.  I realize worship shouldn’t be all about MY experience.  It should be about Him.  But here’s the thing, I know He enjoys me feeling pleasure from connecting with him.  I know it is what He paid for.  It’s His reward.  Part of the “joy set before him” and the reason He endured the cross was so that His bride could connect in a powerful way to Him and feel the intimacy and pleasure of heavenly engagement. To be with him where he is…that was His prayer. 

 

Distraction and Disengagement

So, somehow I got past the 3-song maximum, but then something started happening at my church. I guess it must happen at a lot of other churches. The worship leader started talking between songs and not just once.  Between EVERY SONG.  The first song, I would begin to worship and my mind would be focused on heaven, I would begin to engage with the Lord, to hear from him, to envision Jesus, God’s throne, and heaven.  And then… the song would end and the worship leader would give her mini-sermon.  Then the second song, but then the same thing would happen.  It’s gotten so frustrating that I usually just sit and try to pray and talk to God throughout worship.  At least it is a time of prayer uninterrupted by my little ones and with some pretty background music.  But over the past year, I have begun to miss the corporate worship experience.

Also, as an observer in the church audience, I see most of the other members giving signs that they are going through the same thing.  You see towards the end of the first worship song,  their hands raised, faces looking upward, eyes closed, emoting vulnerable connection, and then… hands go down, faces look down from heaven to the worship leader talking, eyes pry back open to focus instead on what SHE’S saying, connection seems to be broken.  Some of them try to re-engage during the next song, but many of them instead just stand there.  Some even get out their phones, sit down, shuffle through their purses.

Taking Control of Worship Away From Holy Spirit

The thing that bothers me is:  what was God speaking to them during that first song? The worship leader seems to want to redirect them to the scripture God has put on her heart or the thought that He was speaking to her. But what if the Holy Spirit was ministering intimate revelations about himself that THAT PERSON needed to hear?  And instead you interjected something completely different. Does the church leadership not trust that the Holy Spirit can interact with the children of God and that His children can be led by Him without their help between EVERY song?

That’s what it feels like to me.  There is a lack of submission to the leading of the Holy Spirit.  There is a fear of the release of control to Him and what that would mean to their organization and structure of the service.

Because I’ve been able to adapt to the short worship sets…sometimes that first song I was caught up in the most amazing, powerful vision. The worship leader would pull me back down from the arms of God back to whatever she was saying. And that got super-upsetting after a couple of times.

A while back I did confide in one close friend I had there at the church, and that person said it bothered him/her too- a lot.  So I went straight to one of the sources.

A Troubling Confession

I talked to one of the worship leaders also that said he/she didn’t like to do it, but it was requested that they speak between songs by someone in leadership. This last point is probably why it bothers me the most.

I mean if a worship leader is being led by the Spirit to speak on something between a song… first of all it’s probably not going to be a prompting that has them speaking between EVERY worship song.  And secondly, it will add to the worship experience, not take away.  But based on what this worship leader told me, this means the prompting to give speeches between every song is not from the Holy Spirit but church leadership. I’m also wondering if this happens in other churches too where one of the church pastors requires the worship leaders to give messages breaking up a worship set.

Powerful Worship: Christ’s Inheritance

This isn’t that big a deal. I mean it’s one hour a week. Not much in the scope of our entire walk with the Lord.  Most people may not even notice or care. Does corporate worship play a vital role in God’s kingdom strategy and His individual relationships with us? Isn’t powerful corporate worship part of his inheritance that he died and paid for on the Cross?

So that inheritance being marred in some way could have me feeling a little righteous annoyance or …Maybe it’s because I’m ADD or maybe it’s because of my church denomination background.

 

 

Feedback

I truly miss the power that unbroken corporate worship gives to my walk with the Lord.  I miss the revelations, visions, and intimacy that I used to experience with God during those times, but I’m just not sure what to do.  Worship is one of my greatest growth tools in my walk with God.  We all have different ways we connect.  This is mine.  (But then it’s also others’ too.)  I don’t want to leave a church over something like this, but I also hate leaving church the same or more dry than when I came in because a worship leader is following orders he/she doesn’t much care for.

So…Would you say anything, change churches, or just go on praying that one day it would change?  Are we supposed to say anything?  I mean… if each one of us is the church?  And if church is supposed to be “family”, wouldn’t you say something to your family?

Does this upset or frustrate anyone else or are the worship leader talks between songs helpful to you?  Does this happen at other churches?  Is this just a normal thing at most churches to speak, pray, or hear verses for 3 or 4 minutes between songs? I don’t want to ask feedback from others at my church because if it isn’t a problem, I don’t want to stir up an offense.  

Top Resources – Winter 2016/17

Favorite resources runholy sermons list

 

I know most people don’t have the hunger or time to seek out excellent resources. So I like to collect them and post them here for others. These are the resources out of the hundreds I’ve listened to in the last several months that made the most impact.

Endtime Ministries | End of the Age Irvin Baxter podcast Comes on every day of the week.

Heaven Awaits the Bride audio

Relationship with God looks like a relationship with you.

New Canaan Society DC Weekend [youtube playlist]

Anatomy of hunger

Spiritual Depression by Martyn Lloyd Jones

Ken Hamm One Race

Ken Hamm Great Delusion

Brian Simmons 7 Spirits

Ian Clayton 7 spirits

Kevin Zadai after-death experience.

7 mountains by Lance Wallnau

Bakker recording of Dr. Lance Wallnau

Hope, The Anchor of the Soul

Pursuing God Sermon Series by Billy Humphrey (especially 2 & 3)

Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis

School of Obedience by Andrew Murray

Absolute Surrender

Establishing the Gate of Your Will by AllThingsRestored

The Kat Kerr Project [YouTube Playlists]

Prophetic Soaking Music

RunHoly Podcast Scripture Meditation Psalm 139:5

RunHoly Podcast Scripture Meditation Psalm 139:5

The God Impulse Runholy podcast God's blessing on life choices

 

The God Impulse

I posted a new podcast recording that talks about life choices. David gave us a model for making big choices. 1. Inquire-ask God. 2. Wait on his answer 3. When you think you’ve got it, move swiftly with confidence. I’ve done this over and over with big decisions I’ve made. I spoke at the beginning of this podcast  particularly about choosing to marry my husband.

Psalm 139:5 was a special verse to me because it was a confirmation that I had heard God and made the choice that had his blessing.

Podcast On Sound Cloud

podcast on Podbean

 

Meditation Monday: Psalm 84:3, 5

Psalm 84 Scripture meditation by RunHoly, RunHoly.com

Scripture Meditation by RunHoly on Psalm 84:3,5

 

It’s funny the things you notice when you meditate on scripture. Things that you never noticed before…like the fact that the sentence begun in verse 3 ends after “my king and my god”.  Why is the author addressing the Lord of Heavens armies and talking about birds nesting?  I mean I could understand starting the verse about strength with the warrior king address, yet it’s with the birds verse.

Scripture meditation by RunHoly psalm 84

A Home Near His Altar

Is my home at a place near his altar-both in the literal and figurative sense. I mean do I raise my young and go about my day staying aware that I am in and pursuing constant connection to His presence. Am I ruling and raising both my children and my own soul with His kingship in mind. Am I turning the attention of my heart and the hearts of my children toward worship at every small opportunity?

I missed an opportunity earlier. A frog (or toad-I’m not sure the difference) leapt a good 4 feet in one jump. That was an opportunity to direct my children’s awe back to God, the maker of heaven and earth and frogs (or toads). Our souls long to be drawn upward. It just takes a delicate touch to direct them like softly touching a balloon toward the sky. We can consistently keep our souls in that heavenly realm with these sorts of practical touches.

Psalm 84 Scripture meditation by RunHoly, RunHoly.com

It’s in the place of his altar, a place of praise and awe, a place of connection to Him and to heaven that we and our “nests” and “young” are kept safe and at perfect peace behind the Lord of Heaven’s armies, who is also OUR King and OUR God.

The Altar of Self

I learned this lesson this past weekend. I had been making my soul’s nest near the altar of Lauren. It started with a tooth ache. Soon the pain and self-pity had me googling things, searching for answers, and thinking only of myself and my well being. Once on that path, it’s difficult to steer off the selfishness course.

The altar of self is NOT a safe place to be.

The weekend culminated in me losing my temper over something irrational and being trapped in a needless storm of anger.

Had I set my my mind on a pilgrimage, on the things above, on His word, well I (and my family/young and nest/home) would have been protected and kept in perfect peace.

Tapestry of Revelation Truth

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

 

Is 26:3

When I meditate on one verse I often think of other verses like the verse above. It’s crazy how all the different verses are interconnected. The Spirit weaves a beautiful tapestry of revelation truth when we have meditated upon and deposited so many into our heart’s scripture reservoir.  

 

Psalm 84 For This Season

I pray this blessed you. I’m excited to share the rest of this meditation in psalm 84 with you. I feel it is a psalm for such a time as this. It’s a psalm for the season we are leaving and the new one we are entering.

Scripture meditation by RunHoly psalm 84 verse 3-5, RunHoly.com

image image

Sister, Before You Hit “Unfriend”

Sister, before you hit unfriend, RunHoly.com

Sister, before you hit unfriend, RunHoly.comSister, Before You Hit Unfriend

Sister before you hit unfriend RunHoly

Can I just have a little soapbox moment? I just want to bend your ear before you hit unfriend on that Facebook account of your Christian connection.

The friend that removed me is no longer a “friend” so she probably won’t read this, but I just wanted to put it out there for others considering unfriending a sister in Christ on Facebook or in life.

1. Communicate. Give Her a Chance.

If you are going to unfriend another sister, could you at least extend the grace of sending her a message about what the offense was?! Cutting someone out of your life without even trying to give the person a chance to clear misunderstanding or recognize where she was wrong doesn’t seem Christlike or fair, does it? In fact it communicates that this person is worthless not worth the moment or effort it would take you to talk to them about it.

How will believers grow in depth of relationship and maturity if they don’t try to understand each other and make recompense.

2. Love Covers. Is Not Easily Offended.

Would you try to cover their mistake with love or mercy…you know like…oh THE BIBLE says to. Here’s a chance for you to grow in maturity. Work your love muscle and become unoffendable. Even without an apology we are called to love even our enemies.

Sister before you hit unfriend runholy

So if someone has hurt you, shouldn’t you love them even more and extend the same grace that God extends to you time and again.

3. Thou Shalt Not Murder.

Would you think long and hard about de-friending or unfriending the person since its pretty much the opposite of unity and love (what Jesus wants from us) and is likely very close to the spirit of MURDER since you are basically saying they are “dead to you”? When you unfriend, you are communicating rejection, worthlessness, hate. These are tools of the enemy.

world will know us by our love for one another

The world will know us by our love. Not exactly shining the light and love of Jesus and his church/family when you do this. It hurts when Facebook acquaintances do this or even worldly friends, but when godly Christian sisters do this it is even more hurtful.

Maybe you feel it’s what God wants you to do. Weird. Because that seems unbiblical and more like pride, but I dunno…maybe? Then at least tell the person: “I need to remove our connection on Facebook. You hurt me and I need boundaries, but I still love you.” This communicates they are valuable and removes the permission that you give the enemy to torment with the spirit of rejection.

Facebook Isn’t The Real World.

Its not that big a deal. You’re overreacting. It’s just Facebook.  Probably true. But this doesn’t Stop there. Usually when you are “cutting someone out of Facebook” you are doing it in other ways too. It’s just not right. It’s not the way God called us to be. We are the family of God. We have to think about our actions and whether they glorify God and edify his body.

That sister you are hurting is God’s daughter. It’s Christ body you are injuring. And he takes that seriously. So before you hit unfriend, please think about it, pray about it.

 

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