Archive for June, 2010
So I had the brilliant idea to drive through the night, leaving at midnight & arriving at 9am. In many ways, this was genius-all except the part where I couldn’t move in until 3pm & could find nowhere to sleep.
I did find a cute park called Sunnyside with trails for running. After a 74 yr old named “Pops” basically called me fat, I decided to go on a 3 mile run on no sleep. So then I was left sweaty, smelly, and delirious. Finally at 3 pm, it was time to go to registration. I was feeling a little anxious when everyone I saw looked high school-aged. Thankfully, the average age in my apartment is probably about 26. I did not meet one person from the same state.
The 2-bedroom apartments have 2 bunk beds in each bedroom, a kitchen, living room, and 2 bathrooms. We were rushed after unpacking straight into our first session. This included an introduction to the leaders, a message, going over the schedule, and a meal. The meal was not impressive, but at least they had salad bar.
After this, I took a much needed 30 minute nap. Then it was back to another teaching session, with worship & prayer. The message was on seeking knowledge of God like treasure. We are headed to the prayer room now to pray from 12am until 1:30am. Tonight is an early night-bed at 4am. Thank goodness cuz I am beat!
June 30 2010 | Christianity Today | 3 Comments »
Staring out my window watching the fireflies appear… Connor hasn’t left my side all day. I think he senses I’m leaving soon. Had lunch with JG, and realized how much it hurts that so many people are desperate & vying for my moments but my dad… Wish he knew what he was missing. Wish he was free. I had a dream he was free & the enemy was muzzled. I woke up encouraged. Now the time has come. It’s time to make the drive.
June 29 2010 | My Life | 1 Comment »
UghArrr! I got a million things to take care of before I leave: finish packing, finish laundry, run/workout, dinner with Bekah, visit mom, late dinner with James, finish book, get phone fixed, go to bank, see John, lunch with JG. I’m probably forgetting something. Sheesh. Pray. Pray a lot. 
By the way, I’m going to try to keep this blog updated everyday of my internship so that future people considering doing an internship will know what to expect. I had enough donations to do track 1 and pay living costs. The second track is still out of reach, but I am praying for God’s provision to complete the 2nd track either right away or soon after.
June 28 2010 | My Life | No Comments »
As I walked home today from meeting with a friend, I felt as though clouds were my footing. This last week the world has been dreamy. In worship, twice I have experienced the very real sensation of the presence of angels standing behind me. It was exactly the same as two people standing behind only each angel was double in stature.
God has been answering my prayer in regards to confirmation. I asked Him to confirm that the upcoming internship was the right decision by giving me funds in a supernatural way that was undeniably Him. This has begun and funds continue to flow generously. He is so faithful.
The reality of leaving has begun to press on my heart. You see in the kingdom of God, relationships are more than just friendships. Instead your hearts are woven together by the love of Christ. In the Holy Spirit and in prayer, there is a merging of your spirits. As I read the words of Paul today in Philipians 1, I began to recognize these same feelings in his words. I can’t wrote anymore without crying over the distance & time we will spend apart so I’ll finish with Paul’s words instead:
3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, 5 for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; 7 just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers with me of grace. 8 For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the
affection of Jesus Christ.
Actually, I think I need to get personal and give thanks for…
…Gary, thank you for showing me the model for childlike, sincere love
pastor, for teaching me about a father’s heart, humility, and perseverance
Christian, about true generosity
Tina, the importance of a prayerful life
also to Tina b, miss Martha, our talks, prayers, & friendship have helped to mold me
nami, for reflecting Christ’s servant’s heart
chris & kai, about having the faith to be bold
don & Michelle, such love…
Austen, for planting the seed
my grandparents, for showing me how much God believes in me
my mother, for pointing me to God & always standing beside
my church, for teaching me about the family of God
JG, the beauty of God’s unique path, unique friendships, and unique people
James, always showing me the other side of the coin & other facets of an amazing God. You have the most incredible heart. I’m so proud to call you my best friend.
Connor, my angel reflecting love with abandon
Bek. You are my sister more than anyone could ever be. In our friendship, there is the presence of God, fulness of joy, faith, peace, love. I would die for you. I love you.
June 22 2010 | My Life | 2 Comments »
Everyone watching Elijah knew the significance of his altar. They knew that the fire from heaven consumed not only the bull, but themselves; not only the wood, but everything they had built their lives upon and all their carnal reasoning. Not only stones, but every affiliation supporting their identity; not only soil, but all the withered seed of doubt & unbelief that might spring to life in the coming rains. Even the water of past moves of the Holy Spirit was being consumed. It was a firestorm resulting in the complete annihilation of who they thought themselves to be. The only thing left was the stunning glory of God.
The meaning of this sacrifice, simply put, was all about purification of His beloved people. Fire not only purifies but transforms individuals into anointed people of God, faces reflect His light, hearts focus solely on Him, destinies are fulfilled in His power. The God who answers by fire–He is God…we are not.
Elijah’s invitation to embrace the firestorm of total surrender confronts is today. The showdown between the influences of Baal in our lives and the influences of the Holy Spirit are coming to a point where we must irrevocably cease wavering between two opinions that create shifting shadows of loyalty within us. If God is God, we must follow Him. In the words of the apostle Paul:
“Therefore I urge you, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Rom 12:1-2)
Paul urges us to become like the one you behold-Jesus- in whom there is no shadow of turning from intimacy with the Father and fulfillment of His purpose. We cannot seperate the shadows of society until we have seperated them within ourselves. We cannot release fullness of the light of the world until that light shines more purely within us. We are being called to die as a beloved child of God on the altar of total surrender.
As we offer ourselves upon the altar receive healing and step into our inheritance as the beloved of Gos, a firestorm os sure to be loosed in the days to come. Many prophets believe that the past moves of the Holy Spirit will pale in comparison to the sense of His presence and power that God is preparing to reveal. Indeed we are already seeing signs of that increase all over the world, small tokens of what is to come. During this time we find a hint in Elijah’s story that those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs (Jonah 2:8). Those who submit to the purifying power of His outrageous love now–will leap into this coming move with joy.
Excerpt from “Shifting Shadows of Supernatural Power” by Julia Loren
June 14 2010 | Book Study | No Comments »
Sometimes it feels like I am still figuring out the most basic aspects of this Christian walk. One thing has become apparent over the last several months. It started when I began opening up in conversation to my friend Bekah. She also began discussing intimate issues with me. During these discussions I would receive very clear answers to problems that had riddled me. As we spoke, I would say this very clear answer sometimes even before I had discovered it. As I would hear the words from my mouth, it would take me by surprise. God’s presence would come on me, across the back of my shoulders, that light touch somewhere between tingling and goosebumps that let’s me know it’s Him that is answering. Stranger still, the issues that we discussed, concerns very close to our heart, began to be answered also. I began to see that my definition of prayer might be very limited for a God without limits.
Doesn’t His word say, “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am also.” Let’s get real: this form of prayer is much more enjoyable than the other. You know, “getting on your knees before the Lord”. (hey! It turns out I can say/feel things like that. It’s called grace ) So, I began to let this outside the box prayer spill over into my prayer life. I began to talk things out with… myself on my runs, walks, on my bed at night. Crazy at I might look, it worked. God interrupted my “conversation”.
Maybe this is more what prayer should be-plain old, heartfelt conversation with my sisters & brothers in Christ and with my own spirit. It seems so simple like something I should have known all along. Sometimes I just have to figure out the practical application of things. You know, the how behind the what. It something that much of the church has failed to do for me. So I’m just putting it out there.
June 09 2010 | Christianity Today | 1 Comment »
