RunHoly

Last night, I felt a strong leading to read 1 Timothy. Now, this is not my favorite and if it were a person’s favorite I would honestly think him strange. This is a controversial book because of verses in it about a woman not being allowed to teach and learning in silence, etc. Although I still find these verses in context and proper translation very respectful of women, those are not the verses on women that were highlighted last night.

Let me also give some context from my life… Newly married, I’ve been called to a place of giving serious thought to a conviction that the Lord gave me about a year ago. This conviction was to not prevent pregnancy. Whether this is a personal calling or God’s calling for the Christian church, I cannot say because I have no idea. But for me, I know that it is in God’s plan for my life, and that it will bring the greatest good out of me. But whether it’s one or 19, I think children serve a greater purpose for women than we know.

My best friend told me that “your whole life changes once you have a baby”. Here was this friend that used to always shop with me and have long self-portrait photo sessions with our phones after our girl dates. And now all the clothes that she bought and all the pictures that she took had her son as the focus. I found myself thinking… I don’t know if I want my whole life to change. Just being honest, I kind of enjoy my self-focus & vanity. Well? It’s true.

So anyway, I was reading 1 Tim last night and came across the following verse:

And I want women to be modest in their appearance.* They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10 For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.(*or pray in modest apparell)

Then later, this verse:

But women will be saved through childbearing

Now, I had always tied this verse to the verse before it that deals with the snake and the garden.  I assumed that the meaning had to do with salvation coming through Eve’s offspring because God had promised that salvation would come through her seed/offspring.  But as I think about my best friend and every other mother I know in my life, I wonder if these two verses aren’t tied together also.  I’m most certain they are.

It’s through having children that we are perfected, that we lay aside our vanity- our looks, shopping habits, and even photos of self.  And we learn to live selflessly as Christ did-laying down our lives for another.  So for women especially, our salvation and sanctification comes partly (largely?) through childbearing.

Hmm….selah

Well, I cannot believe how quickly life is moving. I met a wonderful guy and will be moving yet again. Relationships are being restored and I am seeing God work in such amazing ways.  About that….

“His left arm is under my head…”  Song of Solomon 2:6

For years, my dad & I have been estranged.  I’ve spent many nights in prayer crying out to God.   I would pray Isa 63:15-16; 64:1-7 asking God to manifest his zeal and his power, to act and to intervene, to bring restoration.  I would pray Malichi 4 that God would turn our hearts to each other.  But I would see nothing…no fruit from these prayers.  The silence and separation continued.

For months and years, I’ve cried out to God–filling the pages of journals with one prayer.  That God would send a partner. A friend that I could relate to in my passion to go after God and live a life of extravagant devotion with a manificent obession.  The longing grew and yet …nothing. As my early 20′s turned to my late 20′s, there was still not even a breath of a relationship around the corner.

“…and his right arm embraces me.”  Song of Solomon 2:6

I began to pray the prayer of Isaiah with more passion: Where are Your zeal and Your mighty deeds? The stirrings of Your heart and Your compassion are restrained toward me. His Word says that there is no other God like him who acts for those who wait for Him. Ummm… I’m waiting, God.  Where’s the ‘acting’ part of this?   His Word says that He will act speedily for those that cry out to Him day and night.  That’s about how often I’m crying out on these two issues.  I think our idea of speedily is a little …off.  

And Suddenly… the pieces began moving.  All the prayers, all the tears… God had been working where my natural eyes could not see.  His left arm is the hidden arm working behind the scene in ways that are not apparent.  But then the right arm of God shows itself and it’s no wonder that we call it the strong right arm of God. 

But it’s important to note.  The left arm is just as strong.  It is always working for us. As we are praying, God is moving the pieces in response, according to His will.  Though we can’t see it, He is working on our behalf with EVERY prayer that we pray.  There will be seasons where we see His movements with our eyes, but there will be other seasons where what He is doing is hidden.

And these times may be far more in number because… we are called to walk & live by faith.  And faith is the substance of things NOT SEEN.  So, in faith, we trust that if we pray according to His word & thereby His will then He will be faithful to respond.  Even if it seems like things are not getting better (and often times appears like they are getting worse).  It is in the “left arm” seasons that we are to pray and believe that God is faithful, that He hears our prayers, and that He is answering every single time.